Jacob Johnson
Dr. Tinberg
ENG 101 - A07
10/4/10
“find x”
(University of Chicago Application Question—Option 1)
For centuries, sojourners have sought to find the Holy Grail. Throughout various
forest, swamps and mountains countless hunters have strived to find the evasive Bigfoot.
Fruitlessly, thousands of children have struggled to find Waldo. Today, however, we turn
the discussion to a much more significant and relevant search. That is, “find x”. “Why is
this question so important?” you may ask. On this topic rests the burden of whether or not
I get accepted into your excellent establishment. While I seek my ideal college, you seek
your ideal student. To discover if this match is meant to be, we will begin our quest to
find x.
Before we can uncover the truth of x, we must establish the context. To a pirate,
finding your x signifies the discovery of buried treasure. If you are a student, your x most
likely marks the answer to a headache-inducing algebra problems. If you are one of all too
many Americans, your x is someone you avoid at all costs. Ultimately, x represents a
mystery—an answer we seek to discover. Naturally, while answers are important things to
have, we must first have a question. This is the key to having proper context. Without a
question answer means nothing—likewise, without an overarching focus, reason or goal,
x also is pointless. Essentially, it is impossible to find x if we don’t know what we are
looking for. This is the significance of having a greater question. Without seeking out
difficult questions, we will never learn to truly grow in knowledge or understanding—
never mind finding x.
For me, the question was “Where should I spend the next two years of my life?”
To answer this question, x was a place in the Chicago University class of 2012. This is
not merely an idle goal, but rather my motivation—the driving force each and every key
stroke. The point I am getting at here, is that finding x is important, but we can’t stop
there. If the answer to our question because apparent, should it not then change our
actions? Stripping away the philosophy and rhetoric, finding x is simply finding our
goals. The entire process of questioning and answering is like a joke with no punch line if
we don’t actively pursue that goal. While x may have begun as an unknown, it has
become knowledge, and that knowledge cannot remain static, but must itself become a
focal point for our efforts. Finding the University of Chicago is but one x among many in
my life. I pursue it, because I know that it is here, that I will be equipped and empowered
to continue in this process. A process not of casual musing, but a dynamic process to
continually and repeatedly “find x.”
Peer Review Reading Journal
ReplyDeleteDuring our writing workshops, you’ll be working with a “critical partner,” someone who will read your work seriously and offer constructive comments. Please offer your response to your partner’s draft, using this template as a guide (you may add responses not prompted here as well). On the last day of the workshop, I’d like you to bring one hard copy to class and post another copy on your partner’s blog. As with the Textbook Reading Journal, I’ll be grading your work according to the following criteria:
¨ Appropriateness to the question
¨ Relevance and precision of detail from the reading
¨ Fullness of your response
¨ Depth of insights
Thanks for agreeing to help a classmate and for being a respectful reader.
Reviewer’s Name:__Ryan Boyd_____
Date: __10/5/10_______
Partner’s Name and Title of Paper Reviewed:__Jacob Johnson: Find X____________
In your own words, fully and with precision, describe what the assignment is asking the writer (your partner) to do? Please use your own words rather than merely quote from the assignment.
In this assignment the writer had to write an essay that pertains to an application whether the application be for a school or scholarship. The write had to write an essay with 350 to 500 words.
To what extent has your partner met the expectations of the assignment? Please pick a passage as illustration and describe what works well there. Again, try to use your own words.
This essay has met all points on the checklist with fly colors. Every paragraph has a topic sentence in the beginning, sentence structure is good, there is also a bit of humor with in the body, and it flows nicely. I liked this portion: “Without a question answer means nothing—likewise, without an overarching focus, reason or goal, x also is pointless.” This sentence flows very nicely and is placed perfectly within the essay and in the paragraph it is in.
What area needs more work? Why? Please pick a passage as illustration and describe what isn’t working.
The use of the word “your” could be freed from its use in a couple sentences.
“To a pirate, finding your x signifies the discovery of buried treasure. If you are a student, your x most likely marks the answer to a headache-inducing algebra problems. If you are one of all too many Americans, your x is someone you avoid at all costs.”
“If you are a student, your x most likely marks the answer to a headache-inducing algebra problems.” Could be changed to: If you are a student, x most likely marks the answer to a headache-inducing algebra problem.
Please indicate TWO questions about the draft and at least ONE suggestion for ways to improve it.
What methods did you use to come up with these ideas for this essay?
Why did you choose this specific question as the topic for your essay?
Touch up some of the word usage.
Peer Review Reading Journal
ReplyDeleteDuring our writing workshops, you’ll be working with a “critical partner,” someone who will read your work seriously and offer constructive comments. Please offer your response to your partner’s draft, using this template as a guide (you may add responses not prompted here as well). On the last day of the workshop, I’d like you to bring one hard copy to class and post another copy on your partner’s blog. As with the Textbook Reading Journal, I’ll be grading your work according to the following criteria:
• Appropriateness to the question
• Relevance and precision of detail from the reading
• Fullness of your response
• Depth of insights
Thanks for agreeing to help a classmate and for being a respectful reader.
Reviewer’s Name: Juliana Guzman
Date: 10/06/2010
Partner’s Name and Title of Paper Reviewed: Jacob Johnson
In your own words, fully and with precision, describe what the assignment is asking the writer (your partner) to do? Please use your own words rather than merely quote from the assignment.
The assignment is asking to write a letter for a specific subject to an audience. By this means, it’s an argument where the writer needs to be consistent with the ideas and evidence provided. The writer also needs to be capable to convince the reader in many aspects. A formal writing emphasizes on the precision of the assignment, where 350 to 500 words run on the essay. The writer needs to concentrate on a clear purpose and be persuasive in order to facilitate the reader a better understanding.
To what extent has your partner met the expectations of the assignment? Please pick a passage as illustration and describe what works well there. Again, try to use your own words.
The entire process of the essay, my partner has changed my point of view towards a simple question to finding “x”. He has used an expressive and creative manner, where he was positive at all times to the audience.
“Finding the University of Chicago is but one x among many in
my life. I pursue it, because I know that it is here, that I will be equipped and empowered
to continue in this process. A process not of casual musing, but a dynamic process to
continually and repeatedly “find x.”
Here, you show positive energy towards your goal. It is a tough question; you have been very clear with your purpose. I also believe that you have used your imagination, schools and others consider that as a plus.
What area needs more work? Why? Please pick a passage as illustration and describe what isn’t working.
A formal writing has been emphasized on the essay. However, my partner needs to break down his ideas into paragraphs. I had the feeling I was reading everything at once, without a pause. Even though, he used a good sense of punctuation, I would feel more relieve to see the essay to be broken down into five paragraphs and MLA format.
Please indicate TWO questions about the draft and at least ONE suggestion for ways to improve it.
1). The introduction is very creative, by providing several different kinds of examples, which makes the audience to gain interest. However, I would point out to continue with the consistency throughout the essay and provide more examples as you did on the introduction where you can relate them into personal experiences.
2) Before you started to write the draft, but had chosen the question already, what was going through you mind of how would you answer this question. Did you have several other ideas?
Peer Review Reading Journal
ReplyDeleteDuring our writing workshops, you’ll be working with a “critical partner,” someone who will read your work seriously and offer constructive comments. Please offer your response to your partner’s draft, using this template as a guide (you may add responses not prompted here as well). On the last day of the workshop, I’d like you to bring one hard copy to class and post another copy on your partner’s blog. As with the Textbook Reading Journal, I’ll be grading your work according to the following criteria:
• Appropriateness to the question
• Relevance and precision of detail from the reading
• Fullness of your response
• Depth of insights
Thanks for agreeing to help a classmate and for being a respectful reader.
Reviewer’s Name: Juliana Guzman
Date: 10/06/2010
Partner’s Name and Title of Paper Reviewed: Jacob Johnson
In your own words, fully and with precision, describe what the assignment is asking the writer (your partner) to do? Please use your own words rather than merely quote from the assignment.
The assignment is asking to write a letter for a specific subject to an audience. By this means, it’s an argument where the writer needs to be consistent with the ideas and evidence provided. The writer also needs to be capable to convince the reader in many aspects. A formal writing emphasizes on the precision of the assignment, where 350 to 500 words run on the essay. The writer needs to concentrate on a clear purpose and be persuasive in order to facilitate the reader a better understanding.
To what extent has your partner met the expectations of the assignment? Please pick a passage as illustration and describe what works well there. Again, try to use your own words.
The entire process of the essay, my partner has changed my point of view towards a simple question to finding “x”. He has used an expressive and creative manner, where he was positive at all times to the audience.
“Finding the University of Chicago is but one x among many in
my life. I pursue it, because I know that it is here, that I will be equipped and empowered
to continue in this process. A process not of casual musing, but a dynamic process to
continually and repeatedly “find x.”
Here, you show positive energy towards your goal. It is a tough question; you have been very clear with your purpose. I also believe that you have used your imagination, schools and others consider that as a plus.
What area needs more work? Why? Please pick a passage as illustration and describe what isn’t working.
ReplyDeleteA formal writing has been emphasized on the essay. However, my partner needs to break down his ideas into paragraphs. I had the feeling I was reading everything at once, without a pause. Even though, he used a good sense of punctuation, I would feel more relieve to see the essay to be broken down into five paragraphs and MLA format.
Please indicate TWO questions about the draft and at least ONE suggestion for ways to improve it.
1). The introduction is very creative, by providing several different kinds of examples, which makes the audience to gain interest. However, I would point out to continue with the consistency throughout the essay and provide more examples as you did on the introduction where you can relate them into personal experiences.
2) Before you started to write the draft, but had chosen the question already, what was going through you mind of how would you answer this question. Did you have several other ideas?
Peer Review
ReplyDeleteReviewer’s Name:__Ryan Boyd_____
Date: __10/5/10_______
Partner’s Name and Title of Paper Reviewed:__Jacob Johnson: Find X____________
In your own words, fully and with precision, describe what the assignment is asking the writer (your partner) to do? Please use your own words rather than merely quote from the assignment.
In this assignment the writer had to write an essay that pertains to an application whether the application be for a school or scholarship. The write had to write an essay with 350 to 500 words.
To what extent has your partner met the expectations of the assignment? Please pick a passage as illustration and describe what works well there. Again, try to use your own words.
This essay has met all points on the checklist with fly colors. Every paragraph has a topic sentence in the beginning, sentence structure is good, there is also a bit of humor with in the body, and it flows nicely. I liked this portion: “Without a question answer means nothing—likewise, without an overarching focus, reason or goal, x also is pointless.” This sentence flows very nicely and is placed perfectly within the essay and in the paragraph it is in.
What area needs more work? Why? Please pick a passage as illustration and describe what isn’t working.
The use of the word “your” could be freed from its use in a couple sentences.
“To a pirate, finding your x signifies the discovery of buried treasure. If you are a student, your x most likely marks the answer to a headache-inducing algebra problems. If you are one of all too many Americans, your x is someone you avoid at all costs.”
“If you are a student, your x most likely marks the answer to a headache-inducing algebra problems.” Could be changed to: If you are a student, x most likely marks the answer to a headache-inducing algebra problem.
Please indicate TWO questions about the draft and at least ONE suggestion for ways to improve it.
What methods did you use to come up with these ideas for this essay?
Why did you choose this specific question as the topic for your essay?
Touch up some of the word usage.