College is more than just an experience of education. It is a time of growing—a
time of building relationships—a time, of becoming part of something bigger. While
community colleges contribute greatly to the local community, they often come up short
when it comes to building a strong college community, compared to most four year
schools. While BCC certainly has done well so far with this issue, it is certainly far from
solved. While this might seem like a minor social issue, the concern is not nearly that
simple. USA TODAY reports: “Studies show that the more engaged students are in such
activities and relationships, the more likely they are to learn.” (Marklein) With concern for both community and education, this situation deserves further exploration.
The nature of this problem is not simple and is caused by numerous factors. While
there are many aspects to this predicament, there are two primary facets which should be
noted. The first cause of this problem is the issue of commuting. To be clear, in
general, commuting is a great opportunity to keep prices down while at college. While all
students must commute at BCC, this does cause a hindrance when it comes to engaging
students. If students must drive to and from their classes, their time spent on campus will
be minimum. Unfortunately, this problem challenges most community colleges. Studies
have shown that “75% of full-time students and 87% of part-time students report that they
spent zero hours in a typical seven-day week participating in college-sponsored
extracurricular activities.” (Community College Survey) If engagement is difficult for anyone, it is certainly difficult for college students who commute.
A second reason why BCC students may not be well engaged is that they aren’t
full time students. The Community College Survey of Student Engagement stated that
“The phenomenon of part-timeness stands as one of the greatest challenges community
colleges face in creating strong connections with students. Close to two-thirds of
community college students attend college part-time”(Community College Survey). When students only take a couple classes, they are often less invested in their college life. Often, this is accentuated by the convenience of online classes for part-time students. The nature of community college makes it quite accessible to people who are too busy to take more than a couple courses at a time. The consequence of this, is that a significant amount of students either aren’t able or interested in giving more of their time.
While this obstacles are not easily conquered, BCC has taken great steps engage
students, despite the odds. I would suggest, however, a proposition which may make the
school more effective in its efforts. The previously mentioned USA Today report went on to say that the use of social media—such as Facebook—can help community college students become more engaged(Marklein). While social media have been used by some degree by BCC, I believe that these assets can be used even more so to increase engagement. Firstly, BCC has over a dozen clubs, yet only a few are online. Getting all clubs online—even if it is simply by creating a Facebook group—would be a simple, yet effective step forward. While it may be difficult to engage students on-campus, there is still the option to engage them online. Once all clubs are on the web, their events, meetings and general information can be both provided and advertised. Not only will this allow students to become more engaged online, but online engagement always has the potential to result in on-campus interaction. While in-person relations are valuable, there is strong reason to believe that virtual engagement can strength the community.
The cost of such a project would be quite minimal. Financially, there would be
nothing to pay to put more information online, especially if it were done via a social
medium. When it comes to update and overseeing this process, it would make most sense
to have a member of the club help out voluntarily. This would cost some time, however,
it would be unlikely to amount to anything significant. Thus the expense of change
would be virtually non-existent while the benefits, as we have seen, could certainly be
worth while.
With all this being said, I believe the facts are clear. Keeping students engaged is
an important responsibility which is more challenging than normal for community
colleges. While there is no magical solution to this issue, the internet and social media
can act as powerful assets. With the cost being so minimal, I strongly encourage you to
not only consider this option, but to take the steps needed to build up our community. If
we can’t engage students on campus, then why should we hesitate to engage them online?
Bibliography:
Community College Survey of Student Engagement. "Making Connections: Dimensions of Student Engagement", 2009
Marklein, Mary Beth. "Social networks could help community college students" USA TODAY 16 November 2009
Unfortunately, very few changes have been made to this essay in this draft.
ReplyDeleteBetween classes, homework, projects, and most noticably, my brother's wedding this weekend, I was very short on time.
I corrected the in-text citation, and corrected some of the grammatical errors in the piece.
The areas of additional work were thoroughly discussed. The main one in my mind is to create a more precise, practical plan.
The idea of making the intro more exciting isn't bad, however, I believe due to the nature of proposals, it isn't needed.
Also, there was a question as to the need for student engagement at all. This however, doesn't seem to be an issue to me at all. Firstly, there is a specific citation made of an article that found a relationship between engagement and grades, showing the benefits of engagement. But also, more importantly, the intended audiance would be someone already sees the need for engagement. Naturally, when a point is already clear, it is often redundant to try and prove it. I know my writing is far from perfect, but I believe I supported the point enough without preaching to the choir.
The last thing I will keep in mind for future changes, is to clarify the point of the plan. No where is a virtual community mentioned, nor supported. Also, no where is the idea of completely replacing tradtional engagement mentioned. The point of the proposal, is that online resources(specically social media) can be used to engage students off campus, and can help overcome some of the difficulties which community colleges face. Thus, it would not be substitutional, but rather suplimental.
As the writer, I take full responsibility for the lack of clarity on this point, and more importantly, do plan to clarify it for future drafts.
Hi Jacob:
ReplyDeleteAs you know, I like this draft. I hope our discussion in class helped you see what is working as well as what needs work.
As to what is working: You have good, local, and meaningful subject--close to home for a lot of students, including yourself--although I note little presence of yourself or your own experience in this student-based subject. Why? What kind of student are you? Are you engaged with the student life around you? Know others who are?
You've gathered data that are quite effective and, for the most part, you document your sources well and integrate them logically.
As to what needs work, I've already mentioned a few items and add a few below. Mostly, I'd like to see additional solutions to this complex problem, which itself could use a more direct statement.
I like the repetition here: It is a time of growing—a
time of building relationships—a time, of becoming part of something bigger.
As noted in class, can you state the problem more explicitly first, before going into causation? The nature of this problem is not simple
Did you obtain these through the web? If so, please indicate, via MLA style: Community College Survey of Student Engagement. "Making Connections: Dimensions of Student Engagement", 2009
Marklein, Mary Beth. "Social networks could help community college students" USA TODAY 16 November 2009
I like the subordination but note the repetition of "While. . . ."? While BCC certainly has done well so far with this issue, it is certainly far from
solved. While this might seem like a minor social issue, t
You need to qualify this statement, right (since you acknowledge the presence of full-time students just a moment ago?): A second reason why BCC students may not be well engaged is that they aren’t
full time students.
typo? While this obstacles . . . has taken great steps engage
good use and citation of source but try to come up with additional solutions of your own, okay? The previously mentioned USA Today report went on to say that the use of social media—such as Facebook—can help community college students become more engaged(Marklein)
who is your intended reader? I strongly encourage you
I think you have certainly covered all the basis here. There is a need for some ended, and rephrasing of some stylistically sub-par aspects.
ReplyDeleteIt would be helpful to incorporate a more personal aspect to the piece, even if it not my own.
I think we clarified the reader when the piece was discussed, but it would be helpful to make that clear in the piece.
It is nice to know that you liked this draft, seeing as it my favorite draft so far.