Things are constantly changing—evolving—progressing. Out of all the ways man has progressed in the last century, the most apparent by far is that of technological progress. With the portability, speed and abilities of modern computers, we find a wealth of information at our fingertips. While modern technology has had great effects on us individually, it has also been posing serious questions to the field of education. Questions of how and when to integrate technology into academia are becoming increasing difficult and controversial. We will examine these questions by observing two factors which should considered in these decisions.
Firstly, the fundamentals are fundamental. This might sound like it is stating the obvious; this is because it is. However the obvious is all too often being overlooked. As was presented by Prof. Gelentner, basic skills such as reading, writing and mathematics are being grossly under addressed currently. While technology can offer many advantages to the field of education, it more of a distraction than aid when it comes to teaching basic skills. Essentially, there is no need to reinvent the wheel. Fundamental skills have been and can continue to be taught without modern innovations.
A second principle to keep in mind is that embracing the future does not mean we must devalue the past. This issue was certainly highlighted by the case of Cushing Academy. With the ushering in of e-books they saw the exodus of thousands upon thousands of well-bound pages. Of course, it is always important to utilize modern technology, but we must also recognize the need to use older technology. While old fashion books may not have all the bells and whistles of e-books, they are certainly a tool which should be embraced. When integrating technology into education, it is crucially important to consider the worth of all means, whether recent or ancient.
With progress comes questions. These questions are hard and pose great difficulty on many accounts. With these tough decisions at hand, there is a dire need to establish standards to guide the process. When it comes to technological process, we have considered two principles which always warrant consideration. Firstly that the fundamentals must be priority and secondly that we can continue to benefit from our current resources while taking advantage of new innovations. These are key to progress in education.
Hi Jacob:
ReplyDeleteI really like this sentence, which speaks to the strengths of this draft: "A second principle to keep in mind is that embracing the future does not mean we must devalue the past" You are organized, dividing your topic in a controlled manner. And your thesis seems reasonable and thoughtful.
I suspect, however, that if you were to revise this draft you would provide more evidence as to the advantages both of print and digital resources (don't forget to draw upon all three sources, okay? and to cite and document your sources).
One final note: occasionally, your phrasing may require some finessing--for example, you likely won't want to start your essay with the imprecise word "Things." You might also rethink the phrase "the fundamentals are fundamental," although I take your point.
I believe what you are trying to say is...
ReplyDeleteIn the draft there are some strong elements which reflect its potential. That my essay was well organized with the points developing the topic in a clear way with a thesis state that is fairly logical. While some of the sources were referenced, it is important to incorporate all three and to ensure that all points are thoroughly supported. Of course, citation is important to not forget. Lastly, that special attention should be paid to wording.
In all honesty, I don't believe there is anything notable that you missed. Other then my sometimes less than ideal word choice, do you have any other suggestions as to how I could improve stylistically?
The things I can take from this essay are primarily the points that you highlighted. While I might do reasonably well with the big picture facets of the essay (organization, establishing a thesis, etc) I cannot forget to pay attention to the details. Even one lackluster word in the right place can really take away from an essay.
Thank you for taking time to comment. It really is appreciated.
This talk back is nicely done--I appreciate the clarity and patience. As to style, consider using some of the suggestions mentioned in our text: especially repetition for emphasis.
ReplyDelete